All the Single Ladies

Hello friends! I’ve missed writing this probably more than you’ve missed reading it, but I’ll continue typing for the faithful few who read this.

I wanted to address two things specifically. The first is directed not only to all my single ladies, but to any other jaded cynics out there.

1) My number one pet peeve about February 14th is not being single. It’s listening to people rag on Valentine’s Day calling it a “Hallmark Holiday” blah, blah, blah. Honestly, besides immediately categorizing you as someone who probably believes in other conspiracy theories, you also make me frustrated. Valentine’s Day is not a made-up holiday. It’s celebrating a very real man who lived a very bold life in the name of love (ultimately his love for God) Yes, our culture has twisted and distorted it to be about commercialism. But last time I checked they did that with Easter, Christmas, etc., and yet you still celebrate those holidays just fine without complaining. So don’t be hypocritical by conveniently forgetting the true meaning behind this holiday either.

2) This part is specifically for all the single ladies (although the fellas are more than welcome to continue reading)

My mother is a fount of wisdom and inspiration to me. A lot of the things she said to me continue to ring in my head at the appropriate times. So two stories for you: #1 – My parents have always called me “Tender Heart” – like the Care Bear – because I’m the peacemaker. I hate to see conflict unresolved, I hate seeing people suffering, I don’t like it when people are at odds with one another. Naturally my sensitivity to others meant that my feelings could be hyper-sensitive. And I can still remember what my mom used to tell me when I would be irrationally upset at a remark directed at me from one of my sisters. As I stood in front of her, tears of anger, hurt, or indignation running down my face (I’m a big crier. Sorry I’m not sorry) my mother would take my face in her hands and gently say, “Lizzie, you can choose not to be offended.” As I’ve come into adulthood, I realize more and more how profound that statement is. And its truth. When dealing with patrons at work who are rude and nasty? Yeah, I can choose to see it as a personal attack on me, or I can choose to not let their bad attitude dictate my response. It’s definitely easier said than done, but it’s more than worth the effort. So how does this have anything to do with Valentine’s Day? I’ll get to that. But first, one more story.

#2- When I was younger I always had a HORRIBLE attitude about school – math in particular. And though I hated to hear her say it at the time, I’m thankful for the wisdom my mother always shared with me. She would always use the quote (and I’m just paraphrasing) about how we always have a choice, but sometimes the only choice is our attitude. Obviously my stubborn heart didn’t want to admit it, but I knew then, as I know now, that she’s right.

So bringing those two ideas together has given me the following outlook on Valentine’s Day that I hope more singles can adopt:

1) Valentine’s Day is NOT a personal attack on my relationship status! So I can choose not to be offended at all the advertisements etc. geared towards couples. No one is ultimately forcing me to feel bad about being single other than myself.

2) I can choose to have a good attitude. Not only about this particular day, but also the past 7,238 or so days that I’ve spent single, and the unknown number ahead. Going along with this for me is recognizing yeah, it’s ok for me to admit that I desire to date and eventually marry, but the Lord’s will, not my desire, is what I should ultimately submit to.

Bonus story before I end this. I was talking to a good friend a while back and was describing a guy I was interested in. After a while of me talking, she gently interrupted me and asked, “Have you spent as much time praying about it as you have talking about it?” Yiiikes. Definitely something to think about.

 

So that’s about it. Get out there, eat a bunch of chocolate, and while you’re at it, check out MY favorite love song!

I’m off to pick up a package. That has new shoes! That I bought myself. Happy Valentine’s Day to me!

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